In a world so harsh, we often find ourselves drowning in emotions. Some are easy to push away, some take over every minute of our life. Over the years, I’ve found little ways to navigate through these emotions. Now I’m not going to ask you to take long walks or meditate. In fact, these don’t require much effort from your end but just a little bit of a perspective shift. Here are five of the toughest ones we experience on a daily basis and the way I look at them.
1. Anxiety – The Silent Chaos
You need to give a presentation in front of a dozen people and as you’re doing a run through of the important points, you notice one of your legs shaking like a leaf.
Anxiety is imagining the worst thing that could happen but not being able to do anything about it at the moment. Although some of it is caused by internal struggles, most of our anxiety is a result of “hope not” embarrassment in front of people. Failing them, disappointing them, upsetting them, being judged etc. Sometimes these are people you might know but sometimes, these are absolute strangers. But who are these “people”? They aren’t made of anything different than yourself. They are as flawed as you are. They make mistakes like you do no matter their status or position. At the end, all of us are going to be specs of dust. So why do you fear a potential danger in front of pieces of potential debris?
2. Overthinking – The Nasty Intruder
You lie wide awake in your bed at 2 am wondering where you are going in life, a sip of water later, you are still in the same place.
Overthinking is being egoistic enough to say, “I cannot go wrong in this” and hence thinking about a million ways to go right. There are so many permutations and combinations that you need to put together before you can supposedly achieve the “ideal” outcome. But the truth is, no decision you make can ever be wrong for you. You are never at the wrong place, you are never in the wrong time. Whatever you are doing right now is what you are supposed to be doing. All this fell into place because of the right time. You could’ve picked any door in the number of doors that was presented in front of you and you still would have been living the same. Life is not that serious, let things be. You’ll see how it all works out for the best eventually.
3. Jealousy – The Mean Bitch
Your colleague who snores at the office and bad mouths the boss gets promoted before you while you clock in extra work every day including his work as you bang the mug on your table.
Come to think of it, it is extremely hard to be happy about other people winning in life. Sometimes it’s not even that we think we should get better but just that they should have worked hard to deserve what they have. But as I’m growing older I’m starting to believe that there is no order to life. There’s no formula to getting something. Things just happen randomly to random people. Hard work doesn’t necessarily equate to winning. If that be the case, all the front benchers should be billionaires. Putting aside the working part, to compare and wish for something that someone has is brutal because that person doesn’t only have a totally different life than yours but also doesn’t have what you have in other aspects. If you compare two pieces of the same fruit to see which is better, that’s smart but if you compare an apple to an orange, that’s stupid.
4. Loneliness – The Parasitic Leech
You are at a dinner party are surrounded by so many people and you realize you can’t really share what made you cry the other night with anyone.
Loneliness is a constant companion, especially evident in your 20s. No matter how many friends you have and how close you are to your family. Sometimes it’s like an unwanted guest that refuses to leave but sometimes it’s the uneasy source of comfort. You feel it at the most random moments of the day and it doesn’t matter if you’re happy or sad, it makes sure it consumes you. But loneliness can be a great tool for introspection. As you brew in loneliness, you can also develop a strong sense of who you are, what you like, don’t like, what matters to you, what doesn’t, which is important before you invite someone else into your life. Not to mention the innate sense of freedom of not having to pretend to be or like anything.
5. Guilt – The White Devil
You draw a very gentle boundary with a friend or a family member for something they’ve been doing that’s been hurting you for a while now. Hours later, you’re still thinking of ways to please them.
Guilt is a tricky emotion to experience. You never know if it’s right or wrong. When it feels right, you are listening to yourself. When it feels wrong, you are hurting someone else. Guilt can range from not meeting someone’s expectation to even you failing yourself. But, when you try to save yourself from another person’s point of view, you are giving so much more importance to a person who hasn’t gone through even a fragment of your life. What good can being angel to someone serve you when you are being a devil to yourself? So, ask yourself the age old question, is it better to speak or to die?
Images from: Cosmos
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